Artemis Fowl: Decoded
by Battleplanner
Summary: Ever noticed the Gnommish written on the bottom of the Artemis Fowl books? Have you ever wondered what they said, but never actually bothered to decode them. Well, you don't need to. I present to you: Artemis Fowl: Decoded! All rights go to Eoin Colfer, the creator of this amazing series.
1. Artemis Fowl (Original UK Version)

p style="margin: 0px 0px 18px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline;""The prophecies of Ohm, phlegm pot cleaner, to Frond, elfen king./p  
p style="margin: 0px 0px 18px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline;"I am Ohm, phlegm pot cleaner to the king, but I am much more than that for I see the future written in the phlegm. For centuries we pixies have read the phlegm, but I am the best there has ever been. My visions are generally of little importance, I foretell outbreaks of troll pox or gas spasms among elderly dwarfs, but sometimes even a poor pot cleaner can see wondrous things. A vision came to me two moons ago when I was gazing deep into his majesty's own phlegm pot. I was heating the pot over a flame when the sign appeared. This vision was more vivid and detailed than any I had previously seen. Because of its importance I decided to write it down for posterity and so I can say I told you so./p  
p style="margin: 0px 0px 18px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline;"I saw an age when the People have been driven underground by the Mud Men. This is what the phlegm told me. In this time one shall come among us, Fowl by name and foul by nature, a mud man unlike any other. He shall learn our secrets and use them against us. I see him now as plain as day. His face is pale he has dark eyes and raven hair./p  
p style="margin: 0px 0px 18px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline;"Yet it must be a mistake for he seems a mere youth. Surely no mud boy could outwit the People, but now I see that the boy is not alone. He is aided by a formidable warrior, scared from a thousand battles. This Fowl shall hold the People to ransom for their most precious possession, gold, and in spite of all our magic there is still a chance that he will prevail, for he has discovered how to escape the time field./p  
p style="margin: 0px 0px 18px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline;"Unfortunately how the story ends I cannot say, but there was more to see. There is another story to come. Someone will bring the People and the Mud Men together. The worst of both races. This fairy's goal is to grind all the creatures to earth beneath his boot. And who is traitor its is not clear, but he shall start a war unlike anything the People have ever seen. Those who were enemies shall be united against him, and for the first time there will be mud men below ground./p  
p style="margin: 0px 0px 18px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline;"I have one clue to his identity, a riddle./p  
p style="margin: 0px 0px 18px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline;"span style="font-style: italic;"Goblins shall rise and Haven shall fall./spanbr style="font-style: italic;" /span style="font-style: italic;"A villainous elf is behind it all,/spanbr style="font-style: italic;" /span style="font-style: italic;"To find the one who so disappoints,/spanbr style="font-style: italic;" /span style="font-style: italic;"Look ye to where the finger points./spanbr style="font-style: italic;" /span style="font-style: italic;"Instead of one face this elf has two,/spanbr style="font-style: italic;" /span style="font-style: italic;"Both speak false and none speak true./spanbr style="font-style: italic;" /span style="font-style: italic;"While publicly he lends a helping hand,/spanbr style="font-style: italic;" /span style="font-style: italic;"His true aim is to seize command./span/p  
p style="margin: 0px 0px 18px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline;"I know. Its not very plain is it I don't understand either, but perhaps in the future all will become clear. Look for a powerhungry elf who has a finger pointed at him during our tale. And so, this is Ohm's legacy. A warning that may save the world from total destruction./p  
p style="margin: 0px 0px 18px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline;"There's not much to work with I know. The details are a bit sketchy. My advice to you is to consult the phlegm. It may be that you are sensitive. I have buried this prophecy with my phlegm pot. If you are not fortunate enough to work as a pot cleaner then there is usually a supply of phlegm every time you have a cold. Here ends the first prophecy of Ohm./p  
p style="margin: 0px 0px 18px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline;"Because of the importance of my visions I shall repeat the prophecies once more. If you have just begun to understand the text then read on. If you have worked out the entire message then congratulations. Now go and save the world."/p  
p style="margin: 0px 0px 18px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline;" /p  
p style="margin: 0px 0px 18px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline;"strongAuthors Note:/strong/p  
p style="margin: 0px 0px 18px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline;"Well, this project was sitting and rotting away in a dark corner of . I had completely forgotten about it. However, the website emailed me about a new follower, and that gave me the motivation to actually get this done. So, credit can go to strongoctaviapaz/strong for making me drag my sorry carcass onto the computer and start writing./p  
p style="margin: 0px 0px 18px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline;"More to follow, I should have the next few codes ready soon./p 


	2. Artemis Fowl (New UK Version)

p style="margin: 0px 0px 18px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline;""The first reference to Artemis Fowl in the human media is in a newspaper article from Dublin chronicle. Artemis made the paper by solving the riddle of the mayor of Dublin's chains./p  
p style="margin: 0px 0px 18px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline;"The mayor held a press conference, to appeal for help after the cities priceless chains of office were stolen. Artemis managed to persuade his bodyguard to bring him along./p  
p style="margin: 0px 0px 18px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline;"When the reporters had finished asking their questions, Artemis raised his hand. The Mayor allowed the small boy to ask his question, expecting something simple and childlike. Instead Artemis asked him, to name three kinds of butterfly./p  
p style="margin: 0px 0px 18px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline;"When the mayor could not answer, Artemis stood on his chair and addressed the journalists present. He told them that in his opinion the mayoral chains could not have been stolen from the secure vault or taken from around the mayor's neck without his knowledge. So this man could not be the mayor, he must be an imposter./p  
p style="margin: 0px 0px 18px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline;"The proof of this was that the real mayor was a keen butterfly collector and would most certainly have been able to answer Artemis' question. Most journalists laughed, but one did not. He suggested that the mayor allow himself to be fingerprinted./p  
p style="margin: 0px 0px 18px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline;"The man calling himself mayor panicked and ran./p  
p style="margin: 0px 0px 18px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline;"It was later discovered that this man was indeed an imposter. He was the mayors own twin brother./p  
p style="margin: 0px 0px 18px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline;"The real mayor was being held in a warehouse in the south of the city. The plan was to hold him for a week while his twin's gang looted the mayoral mansion and cashed the insurance cheque for the ceremonial chains./p  
p style="margin: 0px 0px 18px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline;"Artemis Fowl was six years old when he foiled this plan."/p 


	3. Artemis Fowl: The Arctic Incident

p style="margin: 0px 0px 18px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline;""Congratulations Human. If you have cracked this code then you are more intelligent than most of your species. This is a message from the Fairy People./p  
p style="margin: 0px 0px 18px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline;"We are seeking out our allies among the Mud Men. Though most Humans are dullwitted creatures there are exceptions. You for example. The reason for your intelligence is that you have Fairy ancestors. Do you feel different from those around you? Are your ears a bit pointier than most is your tongue long enough to touch your nose? Do you dream of flying? Have you ever thought that you do not belong among the Mud Men? That is because you have Fairy blood in your veins./p  
p style="margin: 0px 0px 18px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline;"So young Mud Fairy I have a mission for you. As one of the People it is your duty to protect the Earth from those who would destroy it. You must become one of a new race of Mud men who love this planet as much as the Fairy Folk. There is one simple rule. Use only what you need and use it wisely. Do this and the Earth will survive. Go now and begin your quest. I shall repeat this message for those Humans whose Fairy intelligence is buried a bit deeper than yours."/p 


End file.
